Michael Kremer and Felix Kremer - Absolute Love
Our testimonial is to show what is possible in a relationship
From what we live we know that it is possible to live a relationship without harm and that it is possible to live together as two gay men having a fulfilled life without needing promiscuity, pornography, stimulants or drugs.
For us, Universal Medicine, Serge Benhayon and his family have been a massive support in getting to where we are now – through the teachings and the courses offered by them and through the inspiration from what they live each and every day.
One key factor in our relationship is that from the very beginning we started to eliminate concepts and pictures of how we should be or what our relationship should look like and by that allowed for space to unfold instead of giving ourselves a hard time by having to tick boxes.
We feel invited everyday to simply be ourselves
and move and expand in our chosen rhythms.
One very significant change in both our lives has been the choice to stop consuming pornography, as we understood that it is an illusion that never left us really satisfied, but instead covered up a longing for true intimacy, whilst at the same time preventing exactly that from happening. Living in a partnership that is not a ‘sexually open’ relationship and that is totally free of pornography has allowed us to feel fully safe for the first time in a relationship, especially in a relationship between two gay men, and allowed us to go to a depth of intimacy we would not have imagined to be possible before. It makes us be true partners.
There is a deep level of care and understanding in daily life
with touch, hugs, caressing, constant tenderness
and the feeling of being welcomed and adored for who we are.
At the same time there is a clear focus on consistently living up to the quality of our relationship and therefore a commitment to be responsible in what we do and choose. This mixture is a basis that is solid like a rock. In our life there is no fixed value to a certain role. Finances and property are shared without conditions between the two of us. There is no competition between each other and we do not have to fit into a scale of expectations for the other.
We love and accept the other for who he is
without wanting him to be different.
We both have not fallen in love with a picture or expectation of a man – it has been falling in love with the man in front of us. Right there.
This acceptance, understanding and appreciation beyond pictures or expectations is something that we do not reserve for our relationship, but constantly deepen to bring to every relationship that we have, from family to neighbours, to the person we maybe just meet once and for a few minutes in our lives. We came to the conclusion that our relationship does work so well, because we did not settle for what it offers to only us, but became aware that we became a couple for a reason that is beyond the two of us and carries a responsibility with it. A responsibility to allow others in, make our life transparent and give others the opportunity and choice to feel inspired by what we live – or reject it. No judgement for either on our side.
We constantly move forward by pushing each other's boundaries - without overstepping them.
That often is a big challenge as we just don't settle for compromises. We take our time to discuss a matter until we both have the feeling that everything is expressed and we can go forward together – fullheartedly. These discussions are not fights or heated arguments, but talks that are based on understanding and openness and are not made about an outcome. We know that if one of us has the feeling that something is not right it is well worth looking at it as there is always something very valuable to learn which we would miss by overrunning that feeling.
We both understand that taking care for oneself is one of the foremost foundations in life and has an equally caring effect on everybody else.
As a consequence our relationship doesn't allow for days of neglect and disregard, it asks both of us to be absolute in looking after our daily rhythms, self-care, (energetic) awareness and commitment in every part of our lives. The moment one of us lets one aspect of it slip, there is immediate tension between us, which at times can be very uncomfortable – the deeper we go the quicker and more transparent it becomes and the more detailed the responsibility is felt.
For us it is 100% worth it!
Living thus, we feel safe and beheld, something that we had always been looking for but had never truly found.